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Twice weekly scurrilous rumours and bullshit


Andyben

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According to our source, the former Chelsea gaffer, Tommy Tuchel,  is a dirty dog, and had a secret sex dungeon down the road from his west London home.

His (now ex) wife, Sissi, suspected he was up to no good, and planted a recording device in his car, which confirmed her suspicions about his cheating and led her to discover the sex dungeon.

She immediately demanded a divorce and threatened to go public if Tuchel didn't cough up a huge settlement cheque too.

Panicking, and already fairly skint after the outlay on sex swings and pegging machines, the German deliberately got himself sacked by Chelsea so he could hand Sissi the severance cash.

Apparently he was sabotaging the team with deliberately bad tactics, and walking round Stamford Bridge telling the club hierarchy to go fuck themselves.

Almost certainly bollocks, but very enjoyable nonetheless...

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